How to Read All Day (And Get Away with It)

The world at large has an annoying tendency to - you know - exist. This can get in the way of reading, as most of us know only too well, and some days are just made for books and nothing else. In order to allow us all to survive this sort of thing, I have put together a step-by-step protocol which I think is pretty much foolproof, as long as you are motivated enough.

Step #1 - Get what you need done, done. 
Between twelve and twenty-four hours before your planned 'I need to read now day', make sure you get everything absolutely necessary (homework, music practice etc.) out of the way. Don't schedule book days when you know you'll be doing something awesome. Basically, if you would feel guilty about not having done it, then the best bookworms would obviously complete the task perfectly first with infallible restraint. (I am not one of these perfect bookworms, don't panic. You can always pretend to be working and read instead.)

If you can stick to this rule, hopefully, your reading interrupters loved ones won't have a good reason to haul you out of your book nest, and guilt won't pull you out either.

Step #2 - Choose your book(s). And choose wisely.
Sometimes, a day-long read might consist of reading one book from cover to cover, maybe quite a big one, and that's all well and good, but what if you fall out with the characters? What if the author does something you expressly told them not to do? And what if it ends too quickly?

Never fear, bookworms, there is an easy solution. Just get a massive pile of books.

My favourite time to hunker down and play the 'give me a break card' has always been just after Christmas - about now in fact - purely because I have a beautiful pile to devour. If you want to choose a lot, then maybe go for a series, or a couple of different genres, so the stories don't start to feel samey.

Step #3 - Being ill helps.
If you have to stay home from school sick, or refuse to leave your room because my nose feels like it's about to explode, adults will usually have more sympathy for your book binge. They might even bring snacks and stuff.

Of course, timing illness to match your planned reading extravaganza is nigh on impossible, so you have two options. Firstly, you could keep a 'book day emergency kit' to break open when you are sick, but we all know that we're unlikely to resist books Just Sitting There for that long. You could also pretend to be ill but if anyone asks, I thought better of that. It's crossed out, see? *wink wink*

If you are going to fake an illness, going against all the advice I just gave you, naturally, then don't tell everyone you're planning to read for the whole day and then get 'poorly'. Parents usually see through that (I mean, I've heard).

Step #4 - Make sure your supply of supplies isn't under-supplied.
Book binges are marathons, not sprints, and you're never going to be able to do all the reading you want without properly sourced food and drink. If your live-in minions loved ones are refusing to deliver freshly-baked cookies and the like, then go to the kitchen and make yourself something before you dive into your book.

There's nothing worse than having to put a book down for no other reason than the rebellion of your stomach.

Step #5 - READ! ALL DAY!
Turn off your phone. If someone tries to speak to you, spout elvish or parseltoungue at them until they go away.

If all these steps are followed correctly, all interactions during Operation Read All Day should go something like this:

Me: *Reading furiously.*

Mum: Lara, are you going to come out of your room today?

Me: Um . . . no. I have . . . a cold *sniffles*

Mum: Aww, I'm sorry, but you do have homework to do. What about that Geography project? And the revision for the Science test?

Me: Done.

Mum: And French Horn practice? You've got that concert, don't forget.

Me: I did two sessions yesterday. It's all covered.

Mum: O. . .kay. I won't pretend not to be suspicious.

Mum: {to Dad} It's fine. She'll come out when she's hungry.

Me: *selects next book while picking up another cookie* Mwa ha ha.

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Labels: Reading Life