13 Facts About Me (Because I'm Dreadfully Unlucky)

There are a few reasons I thought I'd use this post to tell you guys about myself. It's partly because I haven't said much about myself on this blog, partly because I was missing my GIFs, but mostly because, as a benign ruler, I feel a responsibility to let you know what kind of girl your overlord will one day be.

You think I'm joking. But you shall never know if I really am . . .

     1.   Yes, we all know it's cliché, but I love Harry Potter so much that I would break into Hogwarts if I knew its location. At the age of eleven, I didn't want to go to secondary school open days, because I was convinced it would all turn out to be a waste of time when my powers as a witch were announced. As of now, they still haven't bothered to surface.

     2.   I want to read 100 books this year. To some people, I know that's not a lot, but I have school and exams this week and all sorts of other fun stuff going on that prevents me from constructing a book nest. As of today, I am a whole book ahead of schedule, and that is good, but I can tell it's never going to last. If you need me on December 31st, I will probably be buried in books as I make a last-ditch attempt to make the target.

    3.   It is highly likely that I will never have a favourite author. Possibly not a favourite book, either, because I have reading commitment issues and there is no way I can just choose just one. Not when there are HUNDREDS of possibilities and PRACTICALLY EVERY AUTHOR is amazing and lovely and crazy talented.

    4.   Don't panic, but I have a strange obsession with forensic crime dramas on Netflix. Like, the kind which are based on real life and feature grainy shots of slightly gruesome evidence. Maybe you want to back away slowly now - this is generally a wise policy when dealing with me - but I do like a few relatively normal shows. Yes to Modern Family, The Graham Norton Show, and anything even remotely related to Arthur Conan Doyle (I'm looking at you, Sherlock and Elementary).

    5.   My favourite subject at school is English because I love writing. You also get ten minutes at the start of the lesson to read any book you like, pretty much, and that is my idea of heaven. No-one is surprised by any of this; it's me we're talking about, but hopefully you should be reassured by the fact that your resident book lover reads constantly and writes . . . sometimes.

    6.   On the subject of writing, I actually do write novels sometimes. I am yet to finish one, but my current W.I.P is about boarding schools and posh boys and poker. You'll need to forget about that now, because it gets worked on pretty sporadically and I've no idea if it's any good. Any hopes will soon be smashed, judging by what's happened before with other book-ish things.

    7.   Marzipan is the best substance known to man and I love it even more than chocolate. That is the end of this conversation unless you have any chocolate-covered marzipan.

    8.   In an ideal world, my books would be pristine, but I'm a hopelessly messy reader who wishes she wasn't. I have this horrible habit of eating as I read, because it's dinnertime and no this chapter cannot possibly wait half an hour. Which is all fine and dandy until something gets dropped on it - inevitably - and my inner book perfectionist makes me spend that half an hour mopping up spilled chorizo (it's usually chorizo), which just makes the stain worse.

    9.   Um . . . there are certain books I like to smell*, and certain ones I don't. Because it isn't weird at all to think that fiction books from WH Smith's have really bitter-smelling ink, and yet revision guides smell amazing. I don't need to read the knowledge as long as I take it in through my nose, right? RIGHT? (If not I need to go and revise for Year exams like, now.)

*Read just the bold and I sound like Yoda.

    10.  You knew this already, but I am weird and there's no way I'm ever going to be ashamed about that. Yes, my laugh is weird and I talk too fast and I regularly have spirited arguments about things that only exist in people's imaginations. That's what makes my life awesome and it's not about to change.

    11. I like to think that I'm quite musical, when the mood takes me (as in when I don't have my head buried in a book). It gets to the point where I literally cannot remember a point where I haven't been singing: I must admit that it's constant and more than a little bit annoying for everyone else, but I promise to stop as soon as someone tells me how. And then there's the loud, bad French Horn playing.

    12.  At least half of my t-shirts contain a Big Bang Theory reference. In fact, I'm wearing one right now, and you should be too.

    13.  And lastly, because I feel like I need to reinforce this most of the time, do not talk to me when I'm reading. It hurts my poor little bookworm ears and if I'm lucky I'll be reading a hardback, so when I do hit you over the head you'll be so concussed you won't remember long enough to file the assault charges.

    Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. BUT DO NOT TALK TO ME WHEN I'M READING!

Now thank you for reading about me, minions. I'm sorry if I'm mind-numbingly boring, but hey, there was only one way to work out exactly how dull I am . . .

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In the comments: You know what's coming, right? Tell me some facts about you! 1 or 3 or 5 or however many you want. It depends how much you're willing to reveal . . .

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