How to be a Terrible Teenage Writer

This post is inspired by the brilliant Citra over at Fiction Book Review, and her amazing 'How to Suck at Everything' posts. So you know where to go if you like that sort of thing.

Let me tell you that being a teen writer is hard. You'll know that if you are one. There's so many things to juggle and do exactly right if you want to be good at it.

But the good news is that it's incredibly easy to be terrible. You just need to follow these tips, which are pretty intuitive, to be honest, and there you have it! Who needs to be Mr or Miss goody-two shoes, anyway?

Step 1 - Don't Bother Trying to Manage Your Time.

To be honest, as a teen writer, you don't actually have a lot to worry about. Schoolwork, writing, blogging and actually maintaining some form of social life are all kind of important, but let's face it - they're not exactly difficult. Just do what you fancy at the time, even if that's watching telly, and it'll probably turn out okay. Who cares about detention? Who needs to learn about anything when you're going to be a super rich author someday?

Step 2 - Only Write What's Popular.

We all know that writing's only really about the money, and a book sells much better if it's predictable. As long as you write quickly (quantity, not quality), you won't even be behind the trend, and publishers always love something that follows the crowd.

And - do you know what - I bet no one would even notice if you stole lifted some plot points from a bestseller. The formula's already there, so why not use it?

Step 3 - Don't Take Advice From the Pros.

Whatever you do, you should never take your writing tips from a "knowledgeable" source. That goes for blog posts, other writers or especially creative writing courses. They're only pretending they understand you: these days, no one gives others help if they don't want something in return. Not to mention the fact that they'd SO squash your creativity - the only people you should take advice from are the people who barely know anything. They might accidentally give you an awesome idea.

While we're on the subject, you shouldn't give well-meaning advice to people who need it. You had to learn on your own, so they should too.

Step 4 - Never Edit Anything you Write.

Please. Editing is for sissies; practically anyone who's any good knows how to get it right first time, especially all the top authors. Grammatical mistakes don't matter, and it's a proofreader's job to fix spelling errors. 

You're so much better than everyone else, so an editor won't care about sloppy formatting or iffy speling. Remember, editing takes too long and isn't worth it.

Step 5 - Don't Give Yourself Any Free Time.

Just because you don't manage your time doesn't mean you should let yourself have a break now and again: if you love writing, you should be working all day every day.

If you do have a break, take as long as you like. You've already done the unthinkable, so you don't deserve to call yourself a teen writer anymore.

Hey presto! With these five easy steps, you can become the most terrible teenage writer ever. Every single sentence is the exact opposite of how to be a good one.

Try switching all of them, really. Now that would be crazy advice to follow.

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The Scary World of Adult Fiction

If you've been hanging around this blog over the summer and gotten used to my daily posts, then I hate to disappoint you, but school happened. And writing an actual book. I make a few more excuses and whine about homework here.

I've been meaning to delve into 'proper' adult fiction for a while now, so when my Dad told me I absolutely had to read Time and Time Again by Ben Elton, I decided I could give it a go. With some serious trepidation, of course, because I am a YA pumpkin and do not feel grown up yet.

But I had a good time. It's amazing. And although it's an absolute trap that will melt your brain with the horrible possibilities, you need to read it. Mostly so I can yell at you because OH MY BOOKWORM GOSH THE WORLD IS ENDING.

The stakes are high - the main character in this one is travelling back in time to stop World War I, for heck's sake, so it wasn't going to be light.

But I'm not just here to fangirl over a Ben Elton novel. I also want to have a very serious debate about when one should read adult and when one should read YA. Are you guys ready? Have you cracked your knuckles yet?

You'd better. Because it's so one-sided it's practically a rant.

Especially when I was younger, I would freak out if someone told me to read an adult book. I mean, I did it for school, but when I read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and then realised it was for adults, I got very upset, because I thought it meant I couldn't read YA any more.

Which was a bit stupid, now I look back. Just because you watch one 12A film doesn't mean you can't choose Us any more. The whole point of reading is that we read what we feel like, and if it's appropriate (I wouldn't recommend Time and Time Again to anyone younger than me) why shouldn't that be Adult and YA?

I know a lot of adults who will scorn YA as 'kids' books', which they kinda are, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't read them. In fact, for my Mum's book club, they accidentally chose The Chimes by Anna Smaill, and now they've realised it's YA, they've got me to read it and give my opinions. Because sometimes a book doesn't speak to you if it's not for your age group, and sometimes it does.

What I'm trying to say here is that we can read any book we choose. Adult Lit. shouldn't be scary, in the same way that Middle Grade shouldn't be scary.

AND NO-ONE SHOULD JUDGE A PERSON BASED ON WHAT THEY READ. Please, peoples. It's just another way to be superficial.

So, if you are a teen reader, here are a couple of brilliant Adult books you could try. The ones with asterisks contain slightly raunchy scenes, but frankly there's not anything more than you'd see in a YA book. I promise.

• Time and Time Again by Ben Elton* 
  
  I won't repeat this anymore. All you need to know is that time travel + World War 1 + a broken future = mind-melting magnificence.

• To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  
  The only reason I read this is because we had to for English. But I absolutely love the whole thing with its cultural interesting-ness, and you have to read it because it's the height of innocence and poignancy.

• Airframe by Michael Crichton*
  
  Wow. Wow wow wow. I'm a sucker for anything even remotely to do with investigation, including aircraft investigation, and I love that the main character is a strong woman in a male-dominated field.

• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
  
  If you'd like an insight into life when you think differently, I am reliably informed that this is very realistic. Plus there's the whole investigation thing I mentioned earlier.

          Also, did you know that the title is a Sherlock Holmes quote?

• Landline by Rainbow Rowell
  
  This is the one I haven't read, but have been constantly reminded of its utter amazing brilliance. I mean, it's Rainbow Rowell. And the characters meet via email.

          I LOVE IT when characters meet by email.

So I would like you guys to take two things away from this blog post. First, you can read whatever you want, but second, you have to read this list first.

I never said I wasn't a hypocrite. :-)

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Big Blogging Bonanza Roundup

I am actually feeling very upset today. Because it's the LAST POST OF THE BIG BLOGGING BONANZA! *Hysterical sobbing*

I can't believe I made it through - I only missed a grand total of two posts, which is very good for me, and it's been such a ride. Before I started this, I could barely imagine writing posts on two consecutive days, let alone five. And I think I've done pretty well, actually, but only because you guys have been being so positive on Twitter, checked on my posts the whole time, and chatted with me in the comments. I really appreciate it.

Here are ten posts which, if you people are new(ish) to this blog, I think you'd like. These are my personal favourites, anyway:

• The Essence of Being a Teenager - my first ever post. I kid you not. Ahh, how innocent I was back in April. . .

• A 5-Point Ode to Hermione Granger - we all love Hermione. These are my personal reasons.

• Books versus eBooks - this one's actually serious. I'm tossing up the pros and cons of electronic publications, don't you know (just imagine a posh accent here)?

• Life Without Reading - my slightly tongue-in-cheek look at why the end of reading could bring about the apocalypse. With GIFs, naturally.

• The A to Z of Authors Parts 1 and 2 - this one took me ages. So just read it!

• An Ode to Libraries - I love my libraries. And my odes.

• The One Word I Hate Reading - I have a disability, and this is my way of speaking up about it.

• Does Popularity Make a Blog Successful? - well does it? DOES IT?

• Fictional Couples: The Mailbag - this one was just so much fun to write. I could squee over ships! What else would I need?

• The Insider's Guide to Blogging - you may find this useful, you may not. But I was glad I could write it.

This is about half the posts on my blog so far, and not all of them were written during the BBB, but I couldn't pick just one or two of my babies. That would be awful.

Now this post might just be an excuse not to write some original content. I hope that's okay.

Just while I'm here, I will give you lovely people two promises.

     1) Just because the Big Blogging Bonanza is over doesn't mean I'll stop blogging.

     2) I'll keep going with Words for a Wednesday now and again, because it's fun.

Are we all good then? I'm off to go to school. 

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Four Brilliant Back-to-School Books

I lied on Friday when I said this would be the last post of the Big Blogging Bonanza. Just not on purpose. It is the last-but-one post, and I realised that when I looked at my schedule yesterday.

Yay! You get one more daily post than you thought you would! (I'm not going to stop blogging after these Summer Holidays have finished, by the way. It'll just be a little less regular.)

So today, I would like to talk about going back to school. I don't know about you, but I've got my pencils sharpened, my bag packed and my P.E kit ready - I can't wait. My favourite thing to do when getting ready for the new term is to pick out my reading book, which always seems to help me calm down and get back into the school routine. I also like to pick something reasonably classic / well-known, so I can impress my English teacher!

Here, therefore, is a list of four books which are brilliant 'school reads'. They're really interesting, but won't get you too emotionally involved, so you'll hopefully be able to put them down when it comes to actual lessons. However, we are all bookworms. I can't promise anything.

#1 - The Body in the Library by Agatha Christie

Miss Marple novels are about a little old lady called Jane, who solves crimes using her knowledge of human beings. She's lived in the small town of St. Mary Mead all her life, and she's met almost every type of person, so she knows what her suspects are likely to do. She'll need to: The Body in the Library is not your typical Cluedo-style murder. Because no-one knows who the victim is.

I love Agatha Christie, particularly Miss Marple, and this book is my favourite of all of them. They're hard-boiled, thrilling crime novels which won't distract you while you're studying, but are enthralling the moment you crack open the spine. As classic British novels, they're bound to impress your English teacher, and the other great thing with both the Marple and Poirot series is that all books are stand-alones, so if you don't like the look of a particular plot, or your school library doesn't have the next one (which has happened to me more than once) then you can chop and change as much as you like. Plus, there are twenty Miss Marple novels and short story collections. TWENTY!

#2 - GingerSnaps by Cathy Cassidy 

Ginger Brown always suffered at school. People bullied her for her red hair, unfortunate name and her weight, so she was dreading starting Secondary school. But then she met Shannon.

Fast forward to the beginning of Year Eight, and Ginger's popular. All the boys tag after her best mate Shannon, and she's just happy to be along for the ride. After all, no-one bullies the confident girl. But then she meets Sam, a saxophone-playing, trilby wearing enigma who seems to hate everything she's become. Mix in an old friend, Emily, who knows who she used to be, and Shannon's new crush, a teacher, and things soon become complicated. . .

I love this as a back-to-school read because the characters themselves are starting a new term, and the popularity-isn't-everything vibes really gave me a confidence boost when I read it. We could all do with reassurance at this time of year.

#3 - Carrier of The Mark by Leigh Fallon

This is one of those books that was so fabulous I can barely speak coherently about it, so you will probably get emotionally involved, but it's so amazing I can't resist. ADHNHDT! DITYJ B!

I told you I struggled to speak coherently.

Carrier is about Megan, a sixteen-year-old American girl who moves to Ireland, thanks to her Dad's ever-changing job. She's already dealing with a new country, a new school (see what I did there) and a new crush, but then she realises everything isn't as it seems. Her feelings for Adam are more to do with fate than simple teenage attraction, and her mark ties her to a power as ancient as Ireland itself.

#4 - Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

College! FanFiction! Twins!

That's Fangirl in three words, but if you'd like a longer summary, I'll try my best to oblige. It's basically about a new-to-college girl (Cath) who's always been in the shadow of her twin sister (Wren) and is now struggling to step into the limelight, so she writes FanFiction instead. It's good for back-to-school because although she's starting college and not school, there's still anxiety, timetables and a popularity hierarchy. Sounds like school to me!

Gah! Just read it!

Read all of these when you get back to school. You'll love them, I promise.

***

What books do you guys recommend for when you get back to school? And are you as excited about returning as I am? (I joke, of course. No-one is as enthusiastic about school as me.) 

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The Insider's Guide to Blogging

Guys! GUYS! I've just realised that today's post is the penultimate instalment of the Big Blogging Bonanza. How crazy is that? I think I've done pretty well, too, because I only missed two days (one of those was yesterday, but let's skip over that...).

Now, I wouldn't call myself an expert blogger, but I have learnt quite a bit over the last few months, and I figured I'd share some of that knowledge. Here are a few handy tips, brought together in what I call the Insider's Guide to Blogging.

(Don't expect too much, I'm only a simple munchkin.)

Tip #1 - When choosing a name for your blog, always search the internet for it first. Using a couple of different engines, preferably. I've noticed a few quite well-known blogs with similar names recently, so if you do discover something that might be a problem, you don't always have to go back to the drawing board. Here's an example:

Say you wanted to call your blog Confessions of a Book Lover. It's a good title, sure, but after a quick Googling session, you would discover that there's a book by that name, and you're unlikely to get very high up search engines with that happening. However, you could play with a couple of synonyms. Admissions of a Book Lover would work, as would Confessions of a Bookworm. Or, if you don't like the different words, you could rephrase it. How about A Book Lover's Confessions?

Sometimes, when you play with words like this, you can end up with an even better name, and blog names are definitely important. It's worth noting that I learnt this one the hard way - if you Google Another Teen Reader, you'll find IMDb listings for Another Teen Movie instead.

Tip #2 - You don't have to blog every day. Trust me when I say that blogging every day is hard. Unless you really, truly think you can do it, and know you'll have time no matter what, it'll just make you stressy, and you'll want to give up. For the first few weeks, at least, I'd recommend posting when you feel like it. You can always update more regularly later on, or create a schedule for yourself at times when you know you won't be busy.

That's why I did the Big Blogging Bonanza in summer, when I knew I wouldn't be distracted by homework or anything else. My advice is to write when you feel like it: if you make yourself do it once too often, it'll become like a chore, and you're more likely to give up.

Write for the love of it, and your blog will be just as you want. I promise.

Tip #3 - Talk! Communicate! Comment! The blogging world is a friendly place, I promise, and you'll learn a lot from interacting with other people. Posts from other blogs will often inspire you, and comments will help you to get to know other bloggers. Knowing other bloggers makes it easier to arrange guest posts and link-ups, and they can help you through writing slumps and other tough spots.

The comments space on your own blog is very useful, too. Pay attention to your followers, and always reply if you can. Even if it's just a 'glad you liked the post' sort of thing, people love to know that their contributions have been read.

Tip #4 - Social media, in particular Twitter, is insanely useful. If you post links to your blog posts whenever you release one, your readers can easily keep track of new updates by following you, and you can follow famous authors, too! If you want to use Twitter to publicise yourself as a blogger, then make sure you put your URL on your profile. There's a little space for it, look:

There's also Bloglovin', which is an awesome sharing system intended just for keeping all your favourite blogs in one place. In fact, if you want, you can follow me! The widget's just over there. >>
(They also have Bloglovin' Academy, which has some great tips for publicising your blog.)

Tip #5 - Feel free to ignore any of my tips, if you want. That's right, I said it. A blog shouldn't represent your reader's opinions or another blogger's style. It's your thing, and the most important part of blogging is that you enjoy it. If any of my ideas would get in the way of that, then don't listen to a word I'm saying.

***

Bloggers, do you have any tips you want to share? What helped you in your blogging journey?

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Words for a Wednesday: I Am Malala

I just re-read I Am Malala, the autobiography of a teenage education activist who was shot by the Taliban, and was struck again by how inspiring and poignant it is. I've spoken before about why everyone deserves an education, but the quote I noticed this time was more about her nature and immense personal strength. Just. . . just read this. She's talking about the days before her shooting, when threats were multiplying and she would often wonder what she would do if someone came to kill her.

"Maybe I'd take off my shoes and hit him, but then I'd think if I did that there would be no difference between me and a terrorist. It would be better to plead, 'Okay, shoot me, but first listen to me. What you are doing is wrong. I'm not against you personally, I just want every child to go to school.'"

Malala Yousafzai, I Am Malala

So many things about this make me realise how amazing she is, and every time I read it, I find hidden within the words a new strength. Firstly, she has no thought in her mind about self-defence, while so many others with much more life experience have used it to justify killing others. Her morals are so strong that they easily conquer the fear which could make her want to attack.

Second, in a not unrelated way, she doesn't truly worry about death. She dismisses the possibility of it in three short words - 'Okay, shoot me' - and spends the rest of the paragraph talking about forgiveness, how she isn't against the shooter as a person, just how he is acting. She is willing, and fully intending, to spend her last breath fighting for other peoples' futures.

I wonder how many of us would be able to do that. I wonder how many of us could wish for others' lives instead of our own.

And, on top of all this, Malala got her GCSE results last week. Although half of her school life, maybe even more, has been overshadowed, and sometimes even broken up by wars, those who misinterpreted her religion, and threats to her personal safety, she got six A*s and four As.

To those of us who think our lives and our exams are impossible, Malala should give us the confidence to stand a little taller. I leave you with the speech she made at the UN on her sixteenth birthday:

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I Wish. . .

I am not an easily satisfied reader, blogger or person. I will trawl through many, many blurbs on Goodreads until I'm willing to spend my hard-earned money on anything, or mentally dismiss dozens of post ideas before I find what I want.

I was completely overexcited when I thought of this one. Because it's about not being satisfied. How perfect is that?

I wish there was a law that meant series had to be released all at the same time, instead of one by one. So I wouldn't have to wait six to eighteen months for a sequel.

I wish that, as soon as a new book is released, a copy was always sent to every library in that language. I know that, space-wise, this would be quite problematic, so I'm okay if this rule only applies to YA.

I wish library fines did not exist. As bookworms, we do not take stealing books lightly, and money is not needed to make us take them back; strongly-worded emails and threats to our personal book collections would probably do the trick.

I wish characters would do what I say, and not be stupid. I am currently very annoyed with Ray from Gangsta Rap for this reason, but I have not finished yet, so no spoilers.

I wish film adaptations always involved fans at every stage of the process. Could we have some sort of fandom consultant? You probably wouldn't have to pay them, because they would kill to meet the author in the first place.

I wish my favourite characters would survive at least some of the time, but I am probably being unrealistic.

I wish my friends would just hurry up and read the books I recommend them. They might not think they will like them, but I AM THEIR OVERLORD AND I KNOW BETTER.

I wish blogging was easier, but I know you can't take shortcuts.

I wish books did not take up physical space, so I could own tens and thousands of them without ever needing to buy a new bookshelf or fear bookshelf collapse. It would also help if they were cheaper.

I wish some people valued YA as much as adult literature. Just because we're younger doesn't mean we're less.

I wish all authors earned money enough for their art, because I know some really struggle. That means that no-one should pirate ebooks, in particular.

As you can probably tell, I am a girl with a lot of wishes, most of which are infeasible. But I will always hope beyond hope that those last two will come true. After all, the bookish world deserves it.

***

What annoying parts of the bookish world do you wish would go away? And, all jokes aside, what wish would you most like to come true?

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Extraordinary Means: A Tag

Hello! Before I start today's post in ernest, I would first like to say that I am writing it on my phone and I don't know how it's going to turn out format-wise on the blog. I'll fix any niggles once I get back to the hotel and regain computer access.

I have completely lost track of where this 'Extraordinary Means' tag comes from (someone said it was originally a video tag?) and I do way too many Blog Tags anyway, but I have limited time here, and I like memes.

So there.

Also, these means really are extraordinary. HOW CAN ONE EVEN GIVE UP THE INTERNET? They're all hypothetical, of course, but in truth, I doubt I'd even pull the easiest one off. They're darn near impossible for us bookworms. But the rewards are great, so I would try my best.

I would give up the internet for a month for a signed first edition of this book

Are we talking all-holds-barred here? Like, regardless to practicality or it even being possible? Because giving up the internet would be pretty much impossible for me, especially since I use it for school, so I need to get something that's worth it.

Black Beauty, a book signed by an author that I not only love, but is long dead, would make me the envy of bookworms everywhere. Because it would be impossible for them to get their own. MWA HA HA!

Just so you know, I'm not in this for the money. I love this book and it is mine, so you cannot have it. NEVER!

I would give up pizza for a year if I could sit next to this author on a long plane ride

J.K. Rowling. Because a plane ride is practically the only situation where I could ask her all the questions about Harry Potter without her running away from me / backing away slowly. She would be TRAPPED and have to put up with me.

I really am evil today, aren't I?

I would sit through a thousand hours of ADVERTS (I am British, they are not commercials) if it would ensure Hollywood made this book into a movie

I can only choose one? What is this? I did a whole post that involved five!

I must say that I am absolutely outraged, but if I had to plump for one, it would be Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman. Firstly because I adore it, and was already a play, so would work visually. But also because the message is incredibly important, and must reach as big an audience as possible.

I would never read a new book again if I could live inside this book

No. No no NO! I can deal with some of these because they're for a limited time, but there is no way I would do this.

No change in environment makes up for a lack of reading.

I would let my internet search history be made public if I could become best friends with this author

Hmm...my internet history is certainly pretty embarrassing. And I have a pretty awesome bestie (hi, Katie!). But I would get along very well with Alison Cherry, judging by her twitter feed.

I would donate everything I own to Goodwill if I could date this fictional character in real life

Ooohh,  tricky. I would hate to steal any boy away from his girl, because that would make me an awful person and wreck the entire book. Mind you, I think Fabian from The 13 Treasures series is pretty adorable...

Would you guys even consider these Extraordinary Means? I'm not so sure...

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A Letter to my Older (and Hopefully Better) Self

So, I've been poking around the bloggersphere a bit more lately, and I've noticed that everyone is writing 'letter posts'. You know, letters to the people they used to be, letters to the person they want to become (just take a look at the title) and the people they might someday meet.

I'm not one to ignore a trend, and this looks like a fun bandwagon to jump on. I therefore present to you, the loyal followers of Another Teen Reader (and whoever else happens to find it) A Letter to Me When I Leave School.

Hi, Year Eleven Lara!

Do you have any idea who I am? Probably not - I'm barely a Year Nine yet and you're probably far too cool to have people like me on your radar. But I know an awful lot about you.

Provided I don't go through a complete personality change in the next three years, you're obsessed with reading, writing and musical theatre. You're probably still a blogger, but it doesn't matter if you aren't, because I've told everyone who'll listen that you should only blog if you want to, if you love it.

You got your GCSE results this week, didn't you? I'm sure they were fantabulous, and my Mum keeps saying you'll do well, but don't fret if they're not exactly what you wanted. You tend to have overly high expectations of yourself anyway. Heck, I don't even know what you took those exams in, which doesn't bode well.

I'm supposed to choose them at the end of this year.

Ooh, what did you read last? I'll tell you I just read Playlist for a Broken Heart, because I'm curious to see if you still remember it. It was good but not life-changing (or maybe it turned out to be . . . please say more!) and I'm still thinking a bit like the main character. Have you dived into Lord of the Rings yet? Or finally ventured properly into the scary world of Adult Fiction? I'm so jealous, because you'll have read so many more books than me!

I wrote this letter so you remember who you used to be, and therefore who you are, in case you're feeling lost. You are Lara. Reader, writer, singer, weirdo. Just because the years might have made you a bit different to me, we're still the same person. So do me a favour and follow your dreams. I want to know that I won't be stuck in some dead-end job that I hate when I finally grow up. I am here to remind you of all the things you wanted to be when you were little: horse-rider, singer, novellist, Agony Aunt, psychologist, computer programmer. . . the list is as endless as it is unrelated. I'm hoping by now you'll have some idea of the direction you want to take, but it's okay if you don't. You're only sixteen.

I hope you are a better person than me not because I am bad now, but because a person should always want to improve themselves. I hope you help people more, have less prejudice (have learned how to spell prejudice) and have the determination to find your true passion.

Hoping that you'll give me a good life to look forward to,
Year Eight (Nearly Nine) Lara

***

Thank you for indulging me with that, guys. I know it's very personal - but letters to future and past selves are actually really good fun to write? What would you say to yourself in three years? And do you have anything to say to future ME?

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